10 Things Successful People Do Before You Even Wake Up
1. Set an intention for the day.
Immediately upon rising, most successful people set their intention for the day and then chase after it like a rabid dog until the clock strikes midnight and the intention expires. If they fail to meet the deadline, they punish themselves by eating gluten.
2. Sunrise Workout
High achievers know that a healthy body fuels a healthy mind. So at the exact moment of sunrise, they run to the highest hill in a 5 mile radius of their high-rise apartment and start digging until they've created a tunnel from the hill to their local Equinox gym. Then they have to run back and forth through the tunnel until their personal trainer sees them vomit into a bucket full of flower petals and essential oils.
3. Eat for Energy and Focus
You are what you eat. And all the most successful people are a chia seed, blueberry, almond milk and free-range, hand-slaughtered bison protein shake.
4. Keep It Regular
They have an incredibly satisfying bowel movement, and they send a picture of it to their rivals to show superiority.
5. Keep Your Word
True winners know that your word is sacred. They take time every morning to check in with the demon who controls the deal they've made with the devil and assure themselves of their continued success. Perhaps one day they will devise a plan to have their soul returned to them, but those plans must be made in secret.
6. Stay Connected with Employees
They always get to the office early and take a small bite from that account manager who's always wearing long pants' shin.
7. Acknowledge Your Achievements
All successful people have a private room where they can take a sledgehammer and destroy one million dollars worth of Tiffany lamps, faberge eggs and dinosaur skeletons before you've even hit the snooze button.
8. Take a Moment for Mindfulness
A focused day always includes a mindful walk down the street while attempting to start a fight with anyone who dares to make eye contact.
9. Appreciate Yourself
Self-care is important and it helps you feel confident and relaxed. So, right before the real work day begins, all successful people dress and brush the hair of 200 dolls made in their image.
10. Read Every Email
All successful people have already read all of their own and Hillary Clinton's emails before you wake up.